Have you been comparing your life to others? Well, you’re not alone. As human beings, we tend to compare our lives, especially with our peers.
Maybe you feel like your friends are ahead of you and you feel like they are leaving you behind. Or maybe you feel a sense of accomplishment because you have achieved more than your peers.
As adults, you realize that at this stage, our lives move at different paces. This is something you have to adjust to because when you were a child, your life moved at a similar pace with your classmates.
You spent the first 2 decades of your life at school. You shared new experiences with your friends at the same time as you moved from Grade 1 to Grade 11.
But after high school and college, you start to have new experiences at different ages.
Some of your high school classmates decided to enrol in college immediately while others decided to work. Some of your peers got married shortly after college while others got married later. Some will buy their house in their 20s while others will buy their house in their 30s.
Our lives will continue to move at different paces. If you have been comparing your life with others, consider these points.
Think About These Points
1) The ground for comparison is not level because we have been given different sets of gifts and abilities and different opportunities and resources.
2) When you want to feel better about yourself, you will tend to look for persons that are less fortunate than you.
3) When you compare your life to those who seem to have better lives, you will partially focus on all the positives in their lives. And you will ignore or downplay the negatives.
4) You don’t know all the details of other persons’ lives so you can’t make a well-informed decision.
Why You Shouldn’t Compare Your Life
You shouldn’t compare your life because our lives as human beings are not identical.
Let me explain using a scientific analogy. Let’s say you want to find out how water affects the growth of plants.
Firstly, you would have to ensure that you use the same species of plants because the growth rate varies with plant species.
You would also need to ensure that they receive the same amount of sunlight and air daily since these are factors that contribute to growth.
So you could use two Lavender plants for the experiment.
But if you use one Lavender plant and one Cactus, then you would not get accurate results because they grow at different paces. And their requirements for sunlight and water are also different.
So if you want to conduct a fair test and obtain accurate results, you have to compare Lavender plants with Lavender plants and give them the same amount of sunlight.
Likewise, if you want to compare your life to others then you would have to have identical lives for it to be a fair comparison. You would need to have the same requirements, opportunities, resources, abilities, knowledge and talent.
There are too many factors to consider and control for a fair comparison. Furthermore, you don’t even have all the details of the other person’s life.
You may boast about the things that you have accomplished and the things that you are better at compared to others.
But when you take into consideration the facts, there isn’t much to boast about. They were not given the same opportunities, knowledge and resources you were given. And they may have had fewer or more struggles than you.
What Should You Do Instead?
Instead of comparing your life with others, start celebrating your victories and your accomplishments based on the challenges you had to overcome.
Don’t celebrate based on how much more you accomplished than others.
If that were the case, you would never celebrate because there will always be someone who achieves more than you do and excels more than you do.
Success is not measured by the heights one attains, but by the obstacles one overcomes in its attainment.
– Booker T. Washington
Comparing your life is setting yourself up for unfair competition.
If you want a competition, strive to be better than you were last year. Strive to accomplish more goals this year.
Decide what you REALLY want to accomplish while you are here on this earth and measure your success by how many of those goals you can tick off.
Your real competition is yourself – your poor time management skills, your lack of discipline and your failure to follow through to the end.
-Rejoicing with Purpose
If you really want to compare or evaluate your life, consider all that you have been given then decide whether or not you have truly used them to the maximum.
Every year, you learn more, acquire more skills and gain more opportunities.
What improvements have you made?
What additional accomplishments have you made given the additional knowledge, skills, and opportunities?
The energy that is wasted envying others could be used to pursue your interests and your goals.
Why do you compare your life when it’s only going to make you feel bad about yourself and your life?
Start a Gratitude Challenge
Theodore Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of joy”
Comparing your life will rob you of your happiness. It will also affect your ability to see opportunities. If you want to think more positively and train your mind to see blessings and opportunities, then start a gratitude challenge.
You will be happier and more optimistic.
Read this article for 21 prompts that will help you to successfully complete a 21-day challenge.
Suggested Article: 21-Day Gratitude Challenge and Prompts for Positive Thinking
Takeaway
You can’t control the progression of another person’s life. But you have a great deal of control over what you accomplish in your own life.
Whenever, you start comparing your life, remind yourself that you are unique and your journey is unique. Therefore it shouldn’t look like anyone else journey.
What makes another person happy and fulfilled may not make you happy and fulfilled even if you got the exact thing.
Take a break and make sure that you know why you want the things that you desire. Ensure that it’s not just because someone else has them and they seem happy.
Do you think it’s worth it to compare your life with others? Comment below and share your view.